Theory slept in late – I was hoping to get up at 4:30 am as usual to spend some quality time with her before heading to the airport.  Instead Tara woke me from a deep sleep at 6 am, Theory between us, who was completely out.

I rushed around the house, showering, making coffee, walking Jasmine, packing up final items, making lunch, and rushing out the door.  As soon as the door closed behind me I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I will be gone for a week, home for a few days, and then gone for another week- first to San Francisco for an innovation project and then off to London.  Tara is going to spend this week with her parents in South Carolina where they recently retired.

The thought of missing just a day in Theory’s life is very upsetting to me.  We have not been separated since her birth four months ago.  Indeed, we have been together almost 24 hours a day.  I have this horrific feeling that my absence is going to be detrimental to my relationship with her.  With the lack of continuity at this moment have an impact on our bonding?  Will I miss a key milestone?   With she look different in even a week – she is changing so fast she sometimes looks different from day to day.  Already I am going to miss her first swim, which Tara is going to do in the swimming pool down at her parents’ place.

More than anything, I just have a feeling that I am going to painfully miss her.  There have been times where Tara and I have felt this, just sitting in the living room while Theory slept in the crib.